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So, I started writing this yesterday, in response to a discussion on @miniver's FB about retreat from the world in search of enlightenment vs. being active in the world as a spiritual path. But I decided it wasn't worth it. But now it is this morning, and I'm sad. So this is me being all emo and ranty (and really not directly responding to specific events because seriously, most of what I say lacks relevancy, it just reminded me why I dislike the general in or out of the world argument so much.)
I have spent a lot of time being frustrated at people who don't want to deal with some aspect of life or another. (Okay, and usually aren't particularly honest about this fact in ways that directly impact me. I'm pretty decent at respecting other people's choices but goddamn I hate being dicked with. That often the person is dicking with themselves nearly as much only helps a small amount. Tiny, really.) I have certainly thought "Oh FFS, grow a pair and deal."
But damn it, life is hard. Depression is also a thing, and I'm not even going to write about it - other people have done it better, and I'm just not best situated. Burnout and exhaustion and despair are also things (and none of these are exclusive of eachother, but neither are they necessarily inclusive.)
But here's the thing. I think it's easy to set up a false dichotomy between someone who has retreated to a hermitage and monastery, and someone who is active in the world. First in that for many people these things are cyclic, and seriously, I want people to take care of themselves and heal and recharge - but even more so in that one is putting a fence around what counts as fighting the good fight and making the world a better place. And arbitrary fence that devalues other kind of work. If we're in the world, we're in the world. There are just different ways of doing that.
I guess I do feel that we all have some responsibility to work towards the betterment of all, and yet the form that takes is hugely, hugely various. We each can look for the work at which we are most effective, to which we are best suited and enjoy most. And expect that to change.
There are a lot of ways of doing this. And I don't think we can know what is any person's best. (This is not exactly saying no judgement of any kind can be made - I think it's important to call out assholery, much of the time.) Damn it, if what you need is to retreat from the world, for a while, or forever, and that's what allows you to go on living, and/or keeps you from doing something awful, please do that. Be a good person. Live a good life. And I don't discount that that can be vital, important work in more than just keeping yourself alive.
And maybe you are in the middle of fighting some good fight, and that fight isn't done, and you really need a break... look, every situation is different. There are trade offs, and no one perfect answer for all cases. But keep in mind that thinking that you are absolutely unique and essential is not only generally some kind of egoistic personal exceptionalism, but also a symptom of burn out. Please, please, play the long game. It's not the only game. And maybe sometimes flaming out hard and fast is worth it... But I suspect very rarely.
I have spent a lot of time being frustrated at people who don't want to deal with some aspect of life or another. (Okay, and usually aren't particularly honest about this fact in ways that directly impact me. I'm pretty decent at respecting other people's choices but goddamn I hate being dicked with. That often the person is dicking with themselves nearly as much only helps a small amount. Tiny, really.) I have certainly thought "Oh FFS, grow a pair and deal."
But damn it, life is hard. Depression is also a thing, and I'm not even going to write about it - other people have done it better, and I'm just not best situated. Burnout and exhaustion and despair are also things (and none of these are exclusive of eachother, but neither are they necessarily inclusive.)
But here's the thing. I think it's easy to set up a false dichotomy between someone who has retreated to a hermitage and monastery, and someone who is active in the world. First in that for many people these things are cyclic, and seriously, I want people to take care of themselves and heal and recharge - but even more so in that one is putting a fence around what counts as fighting the good fight and making the world a better place. And arbitrary fence that devalues other kind of work. If we're in the world, we're in the world. There are just different ways of doing that.
I guess I do feel that we all have some responsibility to work towards the betterment of all, and yet the form that takes is hugely, hugely various. We each can look for the work at which we are most effective, to which we are best suited and enjoy most. And expect that to change.
There are a lot of ways of doing this. And I don't think we can know what is any person's best. (This is not exactly saying no judgement of any kind can be made - I think it's important to call out assholery, much of the time.) Damn it, if what you need is to retreat from the world, for a while, or forever, and that's what allows you to go on living, and/or keeps you from doing something awful, please do that. Be a good person. Live a good life. And I don't discount that that can be vital, important work in more than just keeping yourself alive.
And maybe you are in the middle of fighting some good fight, and that fight isn't done, and you really need a break... look, every situation is different. There are trade offs, and no one perfect answer for all cases. But keep in mind that thinking that you are absolutely unique and essential is not only generally some kind of egoistic personal exceptionalism, but also a symptom of burn out. Please, please, play the long game. It's not the only game. And maybe sometimes flaming out hard and fast is worth it... But I suspect very rarely.