On Health and Ill-Health
Mar. 18th, 2013 05:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tylikOh, hey, that last bit reminded me of a peeve I've been kicking around, that's concise enough to take on before students come.
Over the last few weeks there's been a higher than usual frequency of a few kinds of comments.
Exhibit A (sometimes after I've made some kind of eyerolling comment about a medical professional, sometimes inspired by other reasons):
"Well, that's why I never see doctors!"
Okay, look, I understand that there is some discretion in terms of how often one sees doctors, and that some people choose to see them less frequently than others. And hell, I know people with some pretty serious medical problems, who have insurance, even, and don't seek help or seek help much less frequently than might be ideal because they've been mistreated so many times. I get that.
But. How shall I put this? If you were out somewhere with a friend, who was using crutches, and they after fighting with their crutches half annoyed / half humorously said "Stupid crutches!" and then went on to another subject would you feel it appropriate to turn to them while standing on your two sound feet, and say
"That's why I never use crutches!" Because seriously? You don't go see a doctor if you're in good health. And if you're in bad enough health, and you can see a doctor you almost certainly are going to. This is double-plus annoying if it's said in a tone that implies some kind of moral superiority to not seeing doctors.
Yes, I've spent a lot of time with doctors recently. I've also had spine surgery, and needed spine surgery for a long time before I had it. (Note: I tend to try to treat things conservatively, if it's a reasonable option. OTOH I don't shy away from more extreme measure if they promise to help.) I've managed to remain very active and pretty damned functional for the kinds of health problems I've had. I'm pretty good at laughing these things off, but for crying out loud, people.
Exhibit B
This one comes up in a number of different situations, but the core of it is more or less:
"This particular symptom that you're experiencing (or that they think I'm experiencing) is because of the drugs that you are on. OMG, those horrible drugs."
The first bit here is that it really just misses the major point. The biggest source of symptoms of any sort I have is the underlying health problems. No, seriously. Do you think I'm spacey from drugs? I would invite you to see me without drugs. (And, of course, I'd be happy to give you a lecture on the neurochemical effects of pain and what this does to cognition.) In fact, most of the time I am not spacey from the drugs, but from the underlying problem. Pain makes me very spacey. And much of the time, there will be no other obvious signs that I'm in pain. (Sometimes even to me. A high pain tolerance is at best a mixed blessing.) And it's really annoying to have someone go onto their high horse "drugs are bad!" thing. Drugs might be imperfect, but I'm in a place to appreciate how much good they can do. I have a pretty active and productive life, thank you modern chemistry. (And I do hope to be able to eliminate at least one of the drugs that I'm on - the allergy related stuff I'm more or less resigned to. But.)
Beyond that... drugs have effects. Sometimes they have fairly unfortunate effects. (I just had a major bad drug reaction last week. Ugh. Many kinds of ugh.) I tend to undermedicate, if anything - this can be a real problem for me. (And the high pain tolerance, again, doesn't help.) But excepting for the short term bits like last week, when I tried something new and it didn't work out, I know how I react to the drugs I take very well and am very careful about how I use them. Sometimes I do have to tolerate side effects because not taking the drug is even worse. (Not so much, recently.) And I certainly don't need some random asshole - even a random asshole who is a dear friend - trying to shame me because part of how I do so well despite some pretty awful injuries is by use of medications.
If you haven't talked with me about what drugs I'm on, recently, and in depth, please do not assume you know about it. For that matter, if you don't know a fair bit about the pharmacology involved, be really careful with the assumptions. I've had people make comments about my "pain pills" that made it clear they thought I was on opiates or something quite like them. (In fact, I rarely even take over the counter analgesics. Opiates make me ill, and I am told that most of the OTC analgesics are likely to exacerbate the migraines.) There have been extended periods where I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what effects were medication, and what effects were the underlying medical condition.
And I've lost count of how many people have proudly declared that they never take drugs at all. Aiee. Bully for you. Do you know what drugs (and I'm not actually on that many) I'd be least able to cope without? My asthma and allergy medications. Yes, it's really awesome that I no longer end up in the ER every winter when I get a cold. But again, it's like that bit with the crutches. I'm not taking meds as some kind of lifestyle choice, I'm taking meds because the options for not taking meds are still pretty horrid.
Over the last few weeks there's been a higher than usual frequency of a few kinds of comments.
Exhibit A (sometimes after I've made some kind of eyerolling comment about a medical professional, sometimes inspired by other reasons):
"Well, that's why I never see doctors!"
Okay, look, I understand that there is some discretion in terms of how often one sees doctors, and that some people choose to see them less frequently than others. And hell, I know people with some pretty serious medical problems, who have insurance, even, and don't seek help or seek help much less frequently than might be ideal because they've been mistreated so many times. I get that.
But. How shall I put this? If you were out somewhere with a friend, who was using crutches, and they after fighting with their crutches half annoyed / half humorously said "Stupid crutches!" and then went on to another subject would you feel it appropriate to turn to them while standing on your two sound feet, and say
"That's why I never use crutches!" Because seriously? You don't go see a doctor if you're in good health. And if you're in bad enough health, and you can see a doctor you almost certainly are going to. This is double-plus annoying if it's said in a tone that implies some kind of moral superiority to not seeing doctors.
Yes, I've spent a lot of time with doctors recently. I've also had spine surgery, and needed spine surgery for a long time before I had it. (Note: I tend to try to treat things conservatively, if it's a reasonable option. OTOH I don't shy away from more extreme measure if they promise to help.) I've managed to remain very active and pretty damned functional for the kinds of health problems I've had. I'm pretty good at laughing these things off, but for crying out loud, people.
Exhibit B
This one comes up in a number of different situations, but the core of it is more or less:
"This particular symptom that you're experiencing (or that they think I'm experiencing) is because of the drugs that you are on. OMG, those horrible drugs."
The first bit here is that it really just misses the major point. The biggest source of symptoms of any sort I have is the underlying health problems. No, seriously. Do you think I'm spacey from drugs? I would invite you to see me without drugs. (And, of course, I'd be happy to give you a lecture on the neurochemical effects of pain and what this does to cognition.) In fact, most of the time I am not spacey from the drugs, but from the underlying problem. Pain makes me very spacey. And much of the time, there will be no other obvious signs that I'm in pain. (Sometimes even to me. A high pain tolerance is at best a mixed blessing.) And it's really annoying to have someone go onto their high horse "drugs are bad!" thing. Drugs might be imperfect, but I'm in a place to appreciate how much good they can do. I have a pretty active and productive life, thank you modern chemistry. (And I do hope to be able to eliminate at least one of the drugs that I'm on - the allergy related stuff I'm more or less resigned to. But.)
Beyond that... drugs have effects. Sometimes they have fairly unfortunate effects. (I just had a major bad drug reaction last week. Ugh. Many kinds of ugh.) I tend to undermedicate, if anything - this can be a real problem for me. (And the high pain tolerance, again, doesn't help.) But excepting for the short term bits like last week, when I tried something new and it didn't work out, I know how I react to the drugs I take very well and am very careful about how I use them. Sometimes I do have to tolerate side effects because not taking the drug is even worse. (Not so much, recently.) And I certainly don't need some random asshole - even a random asshole who is a dear friend - trying to shame me because part of how I do so well despite some pretty awful injuries is by use of medications.
If you haven't talked with me about what drugs I'm on, recently, and in depth, please do not assume you know about it. For that matter, if you don't know a fair bit about the pharmacology involved, be really careful with the assumptions. I've had people make comments about my "pain pills" that made it clear they thought I was on opiates or something quite like them. (In fact, I rarely even take over the counter analgesics. Opiates make me ill, and I am told that most of the OTC analgesics are likely to exacerbate the migraines.) There have been extended periods where I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what effects were medication, and what effects were the underlying medical condition.
And I've lost count of how many people have proudly declared that they never take drugs at all. Aiee. Bully for you. Do you know what drugs (and I'm not actually on that many) I'd be least able to cope without? My asthma and allergy medications. Yes, it's really awesome that I no longer end up in the ER every winter when I get a cold. But again, it's like that bit with the crutches. I'm not taking meds as some kind of lifestyle choice, I'm taking meds because the options for not taking meds are still pretty horrid.
