National Coming Out Day

[tylik]

[Inspired by dianthus's post here. Really, it was supposed to be funnier, but I'm in a slightly melancholy sort of mood, and I guess it bled over. The fire and a good book definately help.]

Let's start with the obvious stuff:

I'm bisexual. Really, honestly, very middle of the road. At any given moment I might be more in the mood for one gender than another (not that this tends to really lead to anything concrete) but it tends to average out a lot. I've slept with more men than women, mostly because there are more interested and available men. (And a number that I think reflects poorly on me were at least in part out of boredom.) I also am a lot less in contact with the queer community ever since I married. This isn't because people have been mean to me -- mostly I haven't given them the chance. Okay, first I was busy with work, and it seemed like I had a good community around me -- and really, in many ways nerdy liberal types with some kind of interest in spirituality and a certain kind of wit are my community regardless of sexual orientation, and of course, much of my immediate community was queer to some extent. And then I didn't know how to find my way back...

I'm poly. Again, duh. I liked the idea of polyamory from the first time I heard about it. I'm also a cynical bitch, very protective of my primary relationship, and am a little neurotic about who I do and don't let close.

Do I even need to come out as pagan? I love mythology, and am not particularly theistic, at least not in the more common senses. I make something of an effort to go go around believing things in this general scope, but I try to pay attention, and be generally respectful towards the universe and its inhabitants. I am still in denial about my Taoist tendencies. I've actually written a lot about magical theory, but I mostly don't show anyone. In a lot of ways, pagans are my community more than it is my religion -- I find people who I can relate to (or not) spiritually in almost equal frequencies across different affiliations.

I've studied economics. This has meant that I'll never be a bright eyed liberal again. My general cynicism tends to obscure my more radical views from public notice.

I get all teary eyed at the drop of a hat, sometimes.

I'm not a very good gardener. (Though my level of rote competence seems to increase with every year, and plants are exceedingly kind and generous.)

I'm smart. In some weird way that seems to involve a lot of people deciding that I'm smart when I'm sure I did not mean to convey that impression at all (and therefore can't really be that smart.) I like being able, I mostly like being me, I'm much more conflicted about being a freak. And I seem compelled to spend a lot of time beating my head against things that I'm not immediately and obviously good at. I'm rather conflicted about many of the things I'm immediately and obviously good at.

I really try hard to identify as human, but I slip up, sometimes.

Every once in a while I forget to vote. (Ooo. That was a hard one.)

Sometimes I get really feudal in outlook. I don't think it's cool, actually I think it's kind of dumb, but it's what I tend to revert to under stress.

I have some very low tastes in literature.

I'm very self protective. And I hate it when people have power over me. I'll pretty much cut my own heart out to avoid such situations.