On the Care and Feeding of the Tylik
Apr. 5th, 2006 08:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tylik(![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
corivax recommended that I put together a user manual. I don't remember seeing this particular meme, but it sounds amusing, and a good home sick activity, so I'm going to take a swing at it.)
Situating Tyliks While Tyliks have not been domesticated (attempts to breed Tyliks have so far not borne fruit, though they amused the Tylik) they easily naturalize in a large variety of environment. Tyliks prefer partial sun and frequent waterings, but have survived windowless basements, rocky embankments and frequent encounters with republicans.
Productivity If you wish your Tylik to be productive, it is important that it does not become bored. Though Tyliks are naturally adept at keeping themselves entertained, this will often not involve one's preferred activities, and is sometimes quite destructive to landscape and passers by. Tyliks are most productive on a steady diet of new and interesting problems, particularly things that haven't been done before. Performance often improves with small and judicious applications of terror, but outright intimidation is generally counterproductive.
Tyliks and Children Tyliks are generally good with small children and deal with them well. However, as this sometimes includes teaching them about the identification of local flora and fungi, how to fight, and creatve pyrotechnics, parents should proceed with caution.
Feeding the Tylik Tyliks oscillate between deeply held philosophical omnivorism (particularly in social situations) and a strong tendency towards pesco-veganism (which rather embarrasses it). Currently the Tylik is generally not eating land meat, and has something of a preference for local, organic and seasonal food, particularly that involving whole grains and lots of fresh vegetables. Tyliks are also fond of many varieties of Asian snack food, especially those involving dried plums or dried spicey fish bits. If in doubt, try sushi.
Being Fed by the Tylik Left to their own devices Tyliks exhibit a strong tendency to feed other people. This is particularly pronounced with regard to people with unusual dietary restrictions. Availability of interesting foodstuffs can increase this tendency. Flattery has also been helpful. However, Tyliks sometimes get too absorbed in recently acquired obsessions to cook.
Exercising the Tylik Tyliks need a great deal of exercise, or they become listless, whiney and unproductive. Favorite modes of exercise are Martial Arts, and Things That Are Done Outside, though many other modes are acceptable (treadmills and aerobics are often boring). If it is possible to converse while participating in the activity, this is generally preferred. Activity partners who can converse on such subjects as politics, biomedical research, ethics, appropriate technology and the like, and who do not complain when their fur gets wet, are favored.
Dress and Grooming Tyliks have been observed in nature in a great variety of guises (or none) but have tended towards utilitarianism in recent years. While they will sit in bathtubs (often with books) for hours, their participation in beauty culture is minimal, and generally they can be found wearing some kind of athletic pant, and some kind of wicking t-shirt.
Conversing with the Tylik Tyliks generally like to talk, and it's often harder to get them to shut up. When presented with interesting design problems they display a disconcerting tendency to bounce on the balls of their feet, babble cheerfully but not necessarily coherently, and scrawl on random flat, smooth surfaces with dry erase markers. In a pinch, pencils and napkins will do. Tyliks do not follow television shows, movies, or professional sports, but are happy enough to chat about almost anything else. Tyliks value good conversation highly.
Tyliks tend to be direct in speech, and have little patience with some of the more convoluted social games. While Tyliks reserve the right to say "it's none of your business" they will usually answer most questions honestly and thoroughly, being unwilling to bother with lying or protecting people's sensibilities. If you don't want to know, it is best not to ask. Tyliks also are known for viewing many people primarily as receptacles of interesting knowledge, to be opened and decanted.
Bribing the Tylik Tyliks respond well to flattery and bribes of food. Strangely, people do not often feed the Tylik, and some have been known to say they dare not. This is sad. Dark chocolate and sushi are particularly favored. Tyliks also like to be chauferred around, leant books, and introduced to interesting new things. Tyliks often respond well to backrubs and having their hair played with, but at other times become surly, hiss, and scratch.
Annoying the Tylik Tyliks do not like being implicated in other people's drama, and will respond unpredictably in such situations. Tyliks do not like being deceived, particularly in matters relevant to them. Tyliks find many emotionally fraught interactions rather tedious, and not in fact indicative of a deep or particularly close relationship.
Tyliks hate having their sleep disturbed, and are particularly sensitive to disruptions that occur as they are falling asleep. It is also inadvisable to touch a Tylik without first obtaining permission. While verbal warnings are issued, repeat offenders will be put in joint locks. People who have surprised Tyliks with unwelcome fondling have at times suffered contusions to sensitive portions of their anatomy.
Tyliks respond very poorly to being condescended to. Conversely, Tyliks do not like being put on pedestals, the one exception being that pedestals in general are convenient for the kicking of other people's chins. (However, the Tylik is quite able to kick most people's chins without artificial aids.) Tyliks generally ignore people who are obviously threatened by them, but tend to become irritable if forced to interact with them over an extended period of time.
Tyliks have respect for emotional reactions and often find them beautiful and fascinating. This is particularly true for emotional reactions that spur acts of creativity. However, they are made edgey by people who demonstrate poor abilities to reason, or who consistantly act against their own stated interest. Such people seem unpredictable and dangerous, though often also a bit pathetic, kind of like the ranting loonies on the bus.
Dating the Tylik This is not advised.
No, really. Tyliks are particularly contraindicated for beginners, or romantics.
While Tyliks have historically maintained long term, stable friendships, and even a number of intimate friendships that have involved an exchange of sexual favors, explicitly romantic relationships tend to end with the Tylik getting bored and wandering off. This depresses the Tylik, and doesn't seem to make anyone else particularly happy, either. Recently there has been much shying away from the exchange of sexual favors. However, Tyliks are not, in general, nuns.
While Tyliks are not entirely incapable of forming romantic attachments, these are rare and often kind of weird.
Contrary to some reports, Tyliks do not, as a matter of course, eat men for breakfast. Tyliks are well known to prefer pretty girls for breakfast, and elegant young men for lunch.
corivax recommended that I put together a user manual. I don't remember seeing this particular meme, but it sounds amusing, and a good home sick activity, so I'm going to take a swing at it.)Situating Tyliks While Tyliks have not been domesticated (attempts to breed Tyliks have so far not borne fruit, though they amused the Tylik) they easily naturalize in a large variety of environment. Tyliks prefer partial sun and frequent waterings, but have survived windowless basements, rocky embankments and frequent encounters with republicans.
Productivity If you wish your Tylik to be productive, it is important that it does not become bored. Though Tyliks are naturally adept at keeping themselves entertained, this will often not involve one's preferred activities, and is sometimes quite destructive to landscape and passers by. Tyliks are most productive on a steady diet of new and interesting problems, particularly things that haven't been done before. Performance often improves with small and judicious applications of terror, but outright intimidation is generally counterproductive.
Tyliks and Children Tyliks are generally good with small children and deal with them well. However, as this sometimes includes teaching them about the identification of local flora and fungi, how to fight, and creatve pyrotechnics, parents should proceed with caution.
Feeding the Tylik Tyliks oscillate between deeply held philosophical omnivorism (particularly in social situations) and a strong tendency towards pesco-veganism (which rather embarrasses it). Currently the Tylik is generally not eating land meat, and has something of a preference for local, organic and seasonal food, particularly that involving whole grains and lots of fresh vegetables. Tyliks are also fond of many varieties of Asian snack food, especially those involving dried plums or dried spicey fish bits. If in doubt, try sushi.
Being Fed by the Tylik Left to their own devices Tyliks exhibit a strong tendency to feed other people. This is particularly pronounced with regard to people with unusual dietary restrictions. Availability of interesting foodstuffs can increase this tendency. Flattery has also been helpful. However, Tyliks sometimes get too absorbed in recently acquired obsessions to cook.
Exercising the Tylik Tyliks need a great deal of exercise, or they become listless, whiney and unproductive. Favorite modes of exercise are Martial Arts, and Things That Are Done Outside, though many other modes are acceptable (treadmills and aerobics are often boring). If it is possible to converse while participating in the activity, this is generally preferred. Activity partners who can converse on such subjects as politics, biomedical research, ethics, appropriate technology and the like, and who do not complain when their fur gets wet, are favored.
Dress and Grooming Tyliks have been observed in nature in a great variety of guises (or none) but have tended towards utilitarianism in recent years. While they will sit in bathtubs (often with books) for hours, their participation in beauty culture is minimal, and generally they can be found wearing some kind of athletic pant, and some kind of wicking t-shirt.
Conversing with the Tylik Tyliks generally like to talk, and it's often harder to get them to shut up. When presented with interesting design problems they display a disconcerting tendency to bounce on the balls of their feet, babble cheerfully but not necessarily coherently, and scrawl on random flat, smooth surfaces with dry erase markers. In a pinch, pencils and napkins will do. Tyliks do not follow television shows, movies, or professional sports, but are happy enough to chat about almost anything else. Tyliks value good conversation highly.
Tyliks tend to be direct in speech, and have little patience with some of the more convoluted social games. While Tyliks reserve the right to say "it's none of your business" they will usually answer most questions honestly and thoroughly, being unwilling to bother with lying or protecting people's sensibilities. If you don't want to know, it is best not to ask. Tyliks also are known for viewing many people primarily as receptacles of interesting knowledge, to be opened and decanted.
Bribing the Tylik Tyliks respond well to flattery and bribes of food. Strangely, people do not often feed the Tylik, and some have been known to say they dare not. This is sad. Dark chocolate and sushi are particularly favored. Tyliks also like to be chauferred around, leant books, and introduced to interesting new things. Tyliks often respond well to backrubs and having their hair played with, but at other times become surly, hiss, and scratch.
Annoying the Tylik Tyliks do not like being implicated in other people's drama, and will respond unpredictably in such situations. Tyliks do not like being deceived, particularly in matters relevant to them. Tyliks find many emotionally fraught interactions rather tedious, and not in fact indicative of a deep or particularly close relationship.
Tyliks hate having their sleep disturbed, and are particularly sensitive to disruptions that occur as they are falling asleep. It is also inadvisable to touch a Tylik without first obtaining permission. While verbal warnings are issued, repeat offenders will be put in joint locks. People who have surprised Tyliks with unwelcome fondling have at times suffered contusions to sensitive portions of their anatomy.
Tyliks respond very poorly to being condescended to. Conversely, Tyliks do not like being put on pedestals, the one exception being that pedestals in general are convenient for the kicking of other people's chins. (However, the Tylik is quite able to kick most people's chins without artificial aids.) Tyliks generally ignore people who are obviously threatened by them, but tend to become irritable if forced to interact with them over an extended period of time.
Tyliks have respect for emotional reactions and often find them beautiful and fascinating. This is particularly true for emotional reactions that spur acts of creativity. However, they are made edgey by people who demonstrate poor abilities to reason, or who consistantly act against their own stated interest. Such people seem unpredictable and dangerous, though often also a bit pathetic, kind of like the ranting loonies on the bus.
Dating the Tylik This is not advised.
No, really. Tyliks are particularly contraindicated for beginners, or romantics.
While Tyliks have historically maintained long term, stable friendships, and even a number of intimate friendships that have involved an exchange of sexual favors, explicitly romantic relationships tend to end with the Tylik getting bored and wandering off. This depresses the Tylik, and doesn't seem to make anyone else particularly happy, either. Recently there has been much shying away from the exchange of sexual favors. However, Tyliks are not, in general, nuns.
While Tyliks are not entirely incapable of forming romantic attachments, these are rare and often kind of weird.
Contrary to some reports, Tyliks do not, as a matter of course, eat men for breakfast. Tyliks are well known to prefer pretty girls for breakfast, and elegant young men for lunch.
